Mom Laughs

Thursday, January 24, 2008

And you thought lacrosse was a summer sport....

Monday, January 14, 2008

It's 7 degrees in Chicago and we are dreaming about the Dog Days of summer

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Multi-tasking Uses for Diaper Genie By-Products

(Those long strings of diapers individually twist-wrapped in clear cellophane.)

1) Soak them in cement and use for building suspension bridges (another modern marvel).

2) Dye red, white, and blue and use for outdoor bunting (keeps people off your grass during local parades).

3) Dye them yellow and black and sell them to the local police department for "Do Not Cross" tape (guaranteed no one will try crossing).

4) Weave them together and make large area rugs (keeps room traffic way down).

5) Spray gold, red, or green to use as garland on next year's "Christmas Tree" (great homeopathic cure for sinus congestion)

6) Spray them silver and tie them post to post as a chain link fence (guaranteed to turn back all unwanted intruders).

7) Hang around the neck of the large marble statute in the park to imitate a string of pearls (pigeons are history).

8) Tier around your coat like a rope belt (allows you to walk safely to your car at night).

9) Cut them into shorter pieces and wear as a necktie to a party (where you don't want to have to talk to anyone).

10) Store in your husband's brief case (guarantees him his own seat on the bus or train).

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Mom's 2008 New Year's Resolutions One Month Later

January 1st: “My children and I will learn Modern Hebrew this year.”
February 1st: “My children and I will weekly eat one dozen bagels with lox.”

January 1st: “I will get the kids the pet they’ve always wanted.”
February 1st: “I will buy a collar and a leash for my chia plant.”

January 1st: “I will make only home-made yogurt from only organic ingredients.”
February 1st: “I will allow my children only two Gogurts in their mouth at a time.”

January 1st: "I will take my children to a museum once a month."
February 1st: "I will show my kids where I ate super chili dogs in high school.”

January 1st: "I will make sure my children eat multi-grain fiber filled items at each meal."
February 1st: "I will store my bag of Krispy Kreme doughnuts next to a bottle of Metamucil.”

January 1st: "I will feature a Van Gogh each month on our coffee table."
February 1st: "I will fill up our Van at The Stop and Go.”

January 1st: "We will never eat food in the car in 2008."
February 1st: "We will quit using our gas grill in the car in 2008."

Please leave YOUR new year's resolutions in the comments box.