Is Your Mom Swedish?

How to Tell if your Mom is Swedish
(written by her children)

She publishes a Swedish cookbook that begins with, “Add two pounds of butter, two gallons of cream and a quart of sugar…”

She drives 2,000 miles to the Stockholm Inn in Rockford, IL, just to have one of their "Swedes!" (swedish pancakes)

She had the bridesmaids' wear dresses with wide blue and yellow stripes at her wedding.

She tries to administer coffee and pastry to a man choking in a restaurant.

She asks the grocery store manager where she can find the ice cream with meatballs.

She scolds her children for eating their vegetables before their rice pudding dessert (“It will ruin your appetite…”).

She serves tiny mashed potato sandwiches for appetizers.

She names her triplets Arvid, Arvid, and Arvid (after her husband and his two older brothers).

She puts a smorgasbord (a buffet of 20 different entrees) daily in her daughter’s lunch box (“Oofta mia…A child cannot think on an empty stomach…”).

She drinks her black coffee from a saucer with a sugar cube tucked in the side of her mouth (the cup is filled with heavy cream just in case she needs a swig).

She cuts a homemade doughnut in half – then eats both halves.

She demands to know why Starbucks does not have lutefisk flavored coffee (lutefisk is a dried codfish preserved in lye).

She has a bumper sticker that reads, “I brake for sugar and blonde wood furniture.”

She marvels at the condensation on the bottom of her milk glass, which takes the shape of cinnamon rolls.

She starts all out preparation for St. Lucia Day in July, and wonders aloud why it's not a bank holiday.

She complains that accordion players never win a Grammy.

She rides her large Dala wooden horse, when no one is watching.

She believes a mom is as strong as her coffee.

Keep Courting: 25 Free or Nearly Free Ideas for Valentines' Day, After you are Married

My Valentine for nearly 31 years! He swept me off my feet, with his elaborate courting! There’s no better time than Valentines’ Day, to revive your courtship.
Courtship shouldn't end with marriage. Keep courting!
(These are intended for married couples… to fan the flames of continued courtship)

1. Make a Valentines' Day dinner for your husband where everything begins with the first letter of his name. For instance, if your husband's name is Robert, you could make roast beef, rice, and radicchio salad. Serve red licorice and raspberry ice cream for dessert.

2. Ask your wife to marry you again on Valentines' Day, over a candle lit dinner. Ask her in the same way you did the day you became engaged. Set the scene again. Relive the moment and celebrate! Look her in the eyes and sincerely pop the question again. Touch her wedding ring, still on her finger, while you ask her.

3. For Valentines’ Day, set up a mini Christmas tree in your bedroom, with heart ornaments and lights. Your red, white, and pink heart ornaments can be handmade, with construction paper, doilies, and scissors.

4. Write out your wedding vows on this year's Valentines' Day card to your wife and sign your name in INK!
Sample wedding vows for you to copy:
"I , _______, take _____ to be your husband. I will love you, comfort and keep you, and forsaking all other remain true to you as long as you both shall live."
"With this ring I thee wed, and all my worldly goods I thee endow. In sickness and in health, in poverty or in wealth, 'til death do us part."

5. For Valentines' Day, send her the number of cards that match the date - 14. Since Valentines' Day falls on February 14, send her 14 cards by February 13, to arrive on the 14th. Some of the cards can be just a little note. Fill up her mailbox with 14 letters or cards, saying "I Love You." Snailmail means you tried extra hard! If it's already the 14th, send her 14 free Valentines' E-cards from www.dayspring.com.

6. Ephesians 5:26 "to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word."
Wash her in the Word. Read her favorite Psalm to her on Valentines' Day or send by email. My favorite Psalm is 119. So, Bob is going to be reading to me, all morning. :)

7. Add “I love you” to his calendar on the day of his birthday, every month. So, if he was born on December 15, write ” I love you” on the 15th of every month. He'll remember every month how grateful you are to be his Valentine.

8. Give him a coupon for a day alone at your family home to be enjoyed sometime later in February. Coupon will read: Enjoy your clean, quiet home one whole day alone. On your gift day, your lunch will be in a bag in the frig with your name on it. The house is your's to enjoy, all by yourself.

9. For Valentines' Day Dinner, make her a taco salad, with her favorite ingredients. Buy a bag of large taco chips to use as the silverware. Turn down the lights and light some candles. Take a moment to feed her with a chip.

10. Go out with both sets of grandparents for a triple date for Valentines' Day.

11. Practice smiling throughout the day on Valentines' Day. It could be contagious!
Give your honey a funny book for Valentines' Day. It's like giving your joy.

12. On this Valentines' Day, if you haven't already, decide together, over dinner, on a Bible verse for your marriage. Our marriage verse is, "For me and my house... we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

13. Make a homemade Valentines' Day card for him on Valentines' Day. The cover of the card is a school girl picture of you. Inside there's a heading, "100 X"
Write 100 sentences, "I promise to love Bob, all my days." "I promise to love Bob, all my days." "I promise to love Bob, all my days." Write it 100 xs!
Sign "I love you" and your name at the bottom of the card.

14. Have a "back to the future" Valentines' Day. Go to a park, even in the winter. Walk hand in hand. Push each other on the swings. Take a picnic of PB & J, spagetti O's, celery/carrot sticks, and a thermos with hot cocoa. Act young and you will feel young.

15. Do a mini-triathlon together for Valentines' Day, even if it's swim at your indoor pool a 1/2 mile, run 1/2 mile, and bike 4 miles. It's fun! Exercise together, no matter what. It takes the fight out of you.

16. Don't let the sun go down, without saying "I love you" every day. On Valentines' Day, say it at least five times.

17. Confetti is a sign of celebration and honor. Put a bunch of confetti on his car sun visor and close. When he opens it on Valentines Day, the confetti will rain down on him, like your love. Make a sign on the visor mirror, with lipstick, that says, "Celebrate our love! I celebrate you! Happy Valentines' Day. I love you!"

18. Revive the "Sunday afternoon Drive" on Valentines' Day. Take her for a drive to no particular location. Our grandparents' generation considered this a luxurious, fun outing! Pack a small wicker basket with water, fruit, and cheese. Discover a new local sight together.

19. Make a special drink for her Valentines' breakfast, with her favorite ingredients - half orange juice, 1/4 apple juice, 1/8 pineapple juice, and 1/8 papaya juice and and name the drink after her.

20. Have some family and friends over on Valentines' Day, for a Grill off in your Kitchen Stadium. The two of you can be the M.C.s. Give creative Valentines' Day Prizes - anything red. Play some fun games like Bobbing for RED Apples. Laughter is good medicine.

21. Gift her several gifts for Valentines' Day - including a book you have already read - with a letter of why you loved this book and think she will too.

22. Make Valentines' breakfast for him. Make everything from scratch the night before, even down to the homemade butter in the shape of a heart. Serve your homemade breakfast to him, in bed.

23. This Valentines' Day, display your wedding pix on your facebook, for all your friends to see.

24. Give her a gift of two potted trees for Valentines'. On the attached card, write how these two trees represent the two of you and promise her that you are going to plant them in your yard, once spring comes. They will be a symbol and constant reminder of two lives, growing strong together!

25. Bring the surprise and wonder of Alaska to your home this Valentines' Day. Do something out of the ordinary - make an Alaskan Dinner for him. Get your free copy of Cheryl's E-Cookbook Aunt Sarah's Alaskan Cookbook Here.

Happy Valentines’ Day from Cheryl Moeller Production. Cheryl is available to speak at your next event with comedy about family, marriage, laundry, how to recycle pampers, "what's for dinner?" Contact momlaughs@gmail.com.

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Moms for Laughs - MFL

Super Bowl Mom: Why the NFL needs the MFL (Mom For Laughs)

The MFL needs to tell the NFL...

to talk out their issues and problems, instead of shoving, pushing, and tackling out there on the field.

to stop whispering out there in huddles, it makes the other team feel bad to be talking about them.

that the real Super Bowl is the white big bowl in the bathroom.

that the point of wearing a uniform is to help you act more polite and respectful in school. So, why do these men put on uniforms, then start ramming each other and doing crazy dances in the end zone to celebrate it? No one should clap for them when they do either.

that those men in the black and white striped shirts, carrying a whistle should use their yellow handkerchiefs and not throw them down on the field. And why use yellow ones? they don't match anyone's outfit.

that those men floating up there in that big Goodyear helium balloon should come down right now before it pops and someone gets hurt. Besides, they are cheating -- hanging up there trying to see the game without having to buy a ticket. Shame on them.

that it's really not nice to pour a huge bucket of Gatorade on that man with the clipboard, standing on the sidelines at the end of the game. That's probably his homework he's been working on the entire game. Now it's all wet and the teacher will make him stay after school and do it all over again.

that coaches should know when you call a "time out" you should make all the players go over and sit in the corner for 30 minutes, and think about what they have done wrong. And you don't let them back on the field, until they say they're sorry. They usually let them run back on the field in just two minutes -- it only encourages bad behavior.

that NFL teams don't need a coach. What they really need is a MFL super mom, who won't give the guys supper, if they come in with their uniforms all dirty one more time.

Kids say the funniest things!

I was making a hot dish for supper. MacKenzie, age 9, didn't like it, so I told her she could bake a frozen pizza.

MacKenzie preheated the oven, so I could put the pizza in.

She put the oven on 375 degrees.

I asked her why it was so low, because I usually make a pizza at 400 degrees.

MacKenzie said she wanted it fluffy.

I asked her how that would make it fluffy.

She said it says 375 degrees on the box, for high altitude. And she wanted her pizza high and fluffy, with some altitude.

HA HA.

An Idllyic Spot: Stockholm Inn, Rockford, Illinois

We have Swedish roots on both sides of our family, so we wanted to show the kids a bit of Sweden close to Chicagoland

MacKenzie poses in the lobby of the Stockholm Inn


Which lovely dining room should we choose? Each room has a beautiful scene from my favorite artist, Swedish painter, Carl Larsson.


Our waitress was able to give us many great recommendations


The Stockholm Inn is known for their famous swedish pancakes, but their white fish dinner is to die for also.


A happy customer.


We were seranaded with accordion music. He knew lively tunes from the Old Country.


Bob knows a little Swedish, so he joined right in.


World's Biggest Sock Monkies


A Swede on a Swedish horse


The gift shop alone, is worth piling the family in your SUV, and heading to Rockford!


You can take home fresh baked goods, including lefse!

Moms Go Where Angels Fear to Tread by Joan Wester Anderson - Newly Released Book by Guideposts Publishers

(Sample Chapter) INTENSIVE TRAINING COURSE

One of my firmest beliefs is that every couple contemplating holy wedlock should be required to undergo intensive training. We have schools to teach every other skill; why not demand a mini-diploma before John and Jane are permitted to register their preferences at Target, and check honeymoon rates to Cancun?

Yes, there are already marriage preparation courses and computerized tests, mostly church-sponsored, and that’s great. But I can’t help wondering if the instructors deal mainly in theory, or if they themselves are battle-scarred veterans of the two-merging-into-one-kitchenette scrimmage. If I were to design a truly practical course, for example, I’d require all engaged couples to wallpaper a room together. There’s nothing like a joint decorating project to really get to know one another. Couples would pick out the paper (looking through a minimum of twenty-five sample books), measure the room (one with plenty of windows and uneven crevices), calculate the cost, faint, look through another twenty-five books, consider using only border paper, order the paper, back-order the paper, phone the manufacturer about the paper, assemble tools, mix paste, spill paste, cut, weep, reorder…well, you get the idea.

Follow-up classes might include arranging furniture together, hanging pictures together or for a chance of pace, hosting a dinner party for both sets of in-laws together. Couples who are still dewy-eyed after these encounters should probably teach the next session---they’ve obviously got something special.

Another session would involve sick husbands. When a male contracts a cold, flu or other death-defying disease, he’s a changed creature from the stalwart male with whom she recently exchanged “in sickness and in health” vows. Saying he reverts to childhood is less than accurate---how many children whimper at the sight of a digital thermometer? No, the ailing husband is rarely dealt with in depth, yet his bewildered bride needs much advice during this crisis.

She should know that, depending on his temperament, a man will react to a sore shoulder or the sniffles by a) blaming her and being surly, b) convincing himself it’s the plague, making out his will and being surly, or c) pretending he feels fine, carrying on as usual, developing pneumonia, blaming her and being surly. All three types will require special menus, including foods which previously elicited no interest, a pyramid of tissue boxes (yes, even for a pulled muscle), frequent servings of lemonade and plenty of reassurance. Especially since he insisted she phone the doctor and now demands to know why she didn’t ask the following questions: “Is it contagious? Is it terminal? Where did you get your medical degree?”

Her strongest ally here is time: soon Husband will emerge from the Valley of the Shadows and bounce off to work, while suggesting that, in the future she not get so overwrought about illness.

My ideal marriage course would also encompass a seminar on finances. How will he deal with the fact that his conservative wife has not yet discovered that one can take money out of a savings account? How will she cope with a mate so addicted to the sound of ringing cash registers that he cannot mow the lawn without taking his Visa card along? Engaged pairs would learn that whoever handles the money worries about the money; the other partner gallops through life yelling, “Charge!” And unless bankruptcy is a distinct possibility, the twain rarely meet. Nor should they, since one of the pair can’t rest until the checking account has been balanced, while the other figures that if the total looks reasonable, why fret? “How much was the check for on the twenty-ninth?” Wife asks Husband.

“The twenty-ninth? Let’s see…What was the amount?”

“That’s what I’m asking. Who was it to and for how much?”

“Hmmmmm. Was that the week the tire blew? Or wait a minute---weren’t we celebrating our anniversary that night?”

“Our anniversary is next month.”

“Oh. Actually I must have been thinking of your birthday.” The room temperature has suddenly dropped forty degrees.

“That’s in August!” Slammed door. Unbalanced checkbook.

There should be at least one class devoted to timing—that little detail that wreaks havoc between even the most devoted duo, especially when Punctual Patty links up with Late Lester (and they usually do). I have never seen a bride actually walk down the aisle, or a football team with clean uniforms---my husband’s idea of “being on time” is loosely translated as “arriving before anyone is saying goodbye.” And there’s the matter of inner clocks: when we were dating, neither of us noticed that he was a night owl and I an early bird. After our “I do’s” I realized that waking him involved four alarm clocks and, occasionally, a tap-dance routine on his chest. At parties, however, I’d prop my eyes open with one hand and give him desperate “let’s go home!” signals with the other, which he always ignored.

“What kind of a man has never in his whole life seen a sunrise?” I once shrieked in frustration.

”What kind of woman spends a night out exchanging tuna recipes and dozes off during the Super Bowl?” he countered.

Over the years we have adjusted----he’s now the early riser and makes the best coffee in the neighborhood. But wouldn’t it be nicer if we had been primed beforehand?

And what of belongings, especially when one partner is a casual sort and the other goes quietly berserk at the drop of a dust mote? It’s not long after the honeymoon when his socks tossed in the middle of the coffee table, his wet towels on the bedroom carpet or his closet stuffed with high school sports gear plunge her into cardiac arrest. Or her compulsive attachment to the vacuum cleaner and her collection of aerosol cans send him out searching for an all-night poker party? Hammering out a compromise can take months of re-reading the marriage vows, looking for loopholes.

Finally, couples in my ideal marriage class would be willing, nay eager, to make God the center of their lives. He certainly is primary in this labor of love and is only waiting to be asked to pull his share of the load. There would be evening prayer, of course, a quiet time when husband and wife join hands and ask for guidance and forgiveness. But couples would also learn the fine art of brevity in heavenly sharing. There are very few family situations that “Help, Lord! Right now!” won’t cover. And it beats talking to yourself. God can also touch you gently with hope (and a reminder that love is not a feeling, but a commitment).

Marriage Class would emphasize that similar backgrounds and values are important because they provide a firm foundation on which a couple can build. But those differences in tastes, temperaments and opinions, while perilous, can also add spice to a shared life. A Republican can co-exist with a Democrat, Arlene Athlete can merge happily with Sedentary Sam, and a red-and-orange personality can thoroughly enjoy a blue-green mate. All it takes is compromise, honesty, give-and-take, patience and plenty of love.

And perhaps a course to explain it all.





“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe. Plans to give you a future full of hope. When you call me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot.”

---Jeremiah 29, 11-14


Moms Go Where Angels Fear to Tread by Joan Wester Anderson - Newly Released Book by Guideposts Publishers