Ten Reasons why Mothers have Mixed Feelings about Labor Day

Momlaughs with two, expecting #3 - eventually a total of 6 Blessings!


Ten Reasons why Mothers have Mixed Feelings about Labor Day

Momlaughs monthly syndicated humor column, featured on many online magazines
including Families Online Magazine

1. Their husband was still snoring when the contractions were less than a minute apart.

2. The childbirth coach promised the contractions wouldn't hurt any more than holding an ice cube in her hand. She's never been able to take ice in her tea, since then.

3. Rather than playing soothing music in the birthing room, her husband listened to ESPN Classics rerun of the 1987 Super Bowl.

4. The doctor decided to play an additional nine holes and ordered the Pictosin drip turned down to one drip per hour.

5. Her husband took a picture of her facial expressions, during hard labor and used it for their family Christmas letter.

6. The hospital mistakenly delivered a taco supreme with Tabasco sauce, instead of clear broth and ice chips for lunch.

7. The florist tied five dozen helium balloons to the end of the bed, causing it to rise at a 45 degree angle for over an hour.

8. The nurse mistakenly wrote the name of the prescription on the birth certificate -- making her the proud mother of a girl named Tylenol 3.

9. Your husband promised the entire delivery room staff a sit down Thanksgiving dinner the day after you arrive home.

10. She overheard her husband in the hallway saying, "I don't know what the big deal is about labor...I think she's being overly dramatic..."

20 Things I've Learned from Raising Six Children

20 Things I’ve Learned from Raising Six Children

(Published also on http://www.mops.org/ October 2007)

1) Salt, pepper and milk are not fish food.
2) It's a bad thing when your child calls from camp and asks if it's a bad thing if one foot is bigger than the other.
3) If you mow the lawn with the basement windows open – the carbon monoxide detector will go off.
4) The ceiling fan doesn’t hold more than a 40 pound child and is not a substitute for taking your child to Great America.
5) Two kids cannot sit on top of the refrigerator but one can.
6) A 10-year-old cannot run a mile without shoes but he can run a ½ mile.
7) A mother with three sons doesn’t have that many friends who are mothers of all girls when the sons are young. The mother has more friends who are mothers of all girls when they reach high school age.
8) You get invited over less to friends and family’s houses for Sunday dinner when you have six kids.
9) When the nurse says, "even though the white count is as high as Mononucleosis – it’s only E coli," you shouldn’t be happy.
10) Finger painting is a good hobby.
11) Finger painting the front door is not a good hobby.
12) Green marker and a new couch don’t mix.
13) Black marker and a new loveseat also don’t mix.
14) The backyard swimming pool is not a bubble bath.
15) Pool filters do not like bubbles.
16) A dog who has been fed two packages of hot dogs can throw up twice his body weight.
17) Being hit with a marble from the second floor hurts more than being hit by a marble from the first floor.
18) The Easy Bake oven does not bake cookies fast enough for a family of eight.
19) “I hope you didn't forget I put the cell phone on the roof of the car” is not a good thing to hear when you are going 60 mph on the toll way.
20) A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life.