What's a mum to do when my future son-in-law asks, "What's with the Americans?"
He says, "You need to cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football, you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kelvar body amour.) Don't try Rugby League, the South Africans and Kiwis will thrash you like they regularly thrash us."