Friday, February 27, 2009
Is Your Mom Swedish?
How to Tell if your Mom is Swedish
(written by her children)
She publishes a Swedish cookbook that begins with, “Add two pounds of butter, two gallons of cream and a quart of sugar…”
She drives 2,000 miles to the Stockholm Inn in Rockford, IL, just to have one of their "Swedes!" (swedish pancakes)
She had the bridesmaids' wear dresses with wide blue and yellow stripes at her wedding.
She tries to administer coffee and pastry to a man choking in a restaurant.
She asks the grocery store manager where she can find the ice cream with meatballs.
She scolds her children for eating their vegetables before their rice pudding dessert (“It will ruin your appetite…”).
She serves tiny mashed potato sandwiches for appetizers.
She names her triplets Arvid, Arvid, and Arvid (after her husband and his two older brothers).
She puts a smorgasbord (a buffet of 20 different entrees) daily in her daughter’s lunch box (“Oofta mia…A child cannot think on an empty stomach…”).
She drinks her black coffee from a saucer with a sugar cube tucked in the side of her mouth (the cup is filled with heavy cream just in case she needs a swig).
She cuts a homemade doughnut in half – then eats both halves.
She demands to know why Starbucks does not have lutefisk flavored coffee (lutefisk is a dried codfish preserved in lye).
She has a bumper sticker that reads, “I brake for sugar and blonde wood furniture.”
She marvels at the condensation on the bottom of her milk glass, which takes the shape of cinnamon rolls.
She starts all out preparation for St. Lucia Day in July, and wonders aloud why it's not a bank holiday.
She complains that accordion players never win a Grammy.
She rides her large Dala wooden horse, when no one is watching.
She believes a mom is as strong as her coffee.
Posted by Cheryl Moeller: Stand up Comic for Moms, Syndicated Mom Humor Columnist, Conference Speaker, Author, Cookbook writer, and Mom of 6. Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org at 1:09 PM