...if you peel your kids' grapes.
...if you do your kids' laundry, even before they wear their clean clothes.
...if you are way more interested in planning your eight-year-old’s birthday party, than your eight-year-old is.
...if you have to limit yourself to only vacuuming 30x a day.
...if you dilute your kids’ soda pop, worried the bubbles will frighten them.
...if you bake totally organic bread, with absolutely no crust.
...if you have each kid, each day, in over 500 activities.
...if you start to teach your daughter classical french, and the doctor asks if you mind waiting, until he cuts the umbilical cord.
...if you lay awake sobbing that your four-year-old won't get into Harvard, because they lost the coloring contest at Wendy’s Restaurant.
...if you think your two-year-old doesn’t have potential to be an Olympic ice skater, because they don't twirl properly, in the balls at MacDonalds.
...if you peel your kids' hot dogs.
...if you urge your kid to run for president and the contractions are still five minutes apart.
...if you hire an oil painter to do a portrait, of your baby's ultrasound.