The combined mileage on your cars is 1,000,000 miles (and you haven’t left your suburb in seven years).
No one invites you over for Sunday dinner (unless it’s for a fast).
You have a laundromat in your basement (it’s open all night and you still can’t find an empty machine).
Holidays are always at your house (Santa has to use a “wide load” sleigh and 16 reindeer to haul everything down to you).
Your monthly grocery store receipt is 4 figures (the commodities market rallies every time you go shopping).
You are happy to get your oldest daughter's hand-me-downs.
As long as you book it by the fourth of July, you are guaranteed a reserved table at your favorite restaurant for your whole family for Valentine’s Day.
You use a whole box of oatmeal to make breakfast (and that’s for the younger kids and newborns).
Your driveway looks like a used car lot (your husband wears a plaid sport coat and has to check with his manager before handing you the keys).
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