Top 10 Reasons Why He's Not the One

by Cheryl Moeller

(This could be turned around also to why "She's Not the One".)

  

"Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will."   --Jonathan Edwards 

I was a jerk so I have the credentials to write this article.

I can write this article because I dated a few jerks. I think that makes me a jerk, too. Many times I got down on my knees and prayed, "Oh Jesus, please save Billy and I'll come back to you. I promise I will be a super really great Christian for you and do whatever you ask of me."

From my years of being a jerk, I learned God doesn't make plea bargains. Billy was not influenced by me, but instead I was changed for the worse by him. I plummeted further down away from God's best for me until we broke up. I finally realized that neither one of us were happy. My challenge then was, "Do I go deeper into the world or get right with God? I chose God."

Top Ten Reasons Why He's Not the One

1. Your desire for going deeper with God is going to have to wait. He's not even a Believer; he sure doesn't want more of God when his life is all about him (and maybe you). And, you know going deeper with God requires not more of God, but God getting more of you.

2. You have made this guy an idol above God because you are willing to disobey God's Word for this person, even if you call it missionary dating. Just like the laws of physics, nature, and matter, most likely your future with this person will lead to further disobedience.

3. His best bet to become a Believer is not you. A relationship with you that you hope will win him to Christ is actually what might be keeping him from a relationship with Christ. He can't see the tree for the forest. It's confusing because everything is also attached to you. It's hard for him to focus on faith in Christ alone, when you are the distracting torchbearer.

4. Do you witness the Gospel of Christ to him, kissing him, between each Beatitude? You are not an example for him to follow because you are dating a non-Christian (him) and he knows you are not supposed to be doing that according to your Holy Scriptures. So, how can he take the rest of your faith seriously?

5. You are believing lies. Dating or courting is not about having fun or having a date to take you to the next social event. It's about ultimately finding the guy God has for you. God's Word says not to be in romantic relationship with unbelievers. Do you think Christ would send an unbeliever for you to marry? Absolutely not. So, this is not of or from Christ. It's a lie.

6. Do you want him to become a Believer because you truly care about his lostness, his soul? If it was his soul or you dating him, which would you choose? Obviously you chose him.

7. The question does come to bear on this situation: Are you yourself truly born again? Because what does a born again Christian have in common with a non-believer? Believers are known by their fruit and your fruit is kind of smelly at the moment. Are you walking close with the Lord? Are you hungering and thirsting after Christ and His righteousness? It's time to break up with him, take a step back, and do some soul searching of yourself? Have you ever gone past knowing and even believing the Gospel, to fully placing your trust in Christ? Give Christ an empty check with your name signed on the bottom line and letting Christ fill in all the blanks, the names, and the amount. It's time for business with Christ not your boyfriend. First confess your sin. Get to know God again by spending more time in the Word, prayer, with a mentor, attend a Bible believing church, and using your gifts for His service. Have you backslidden? Do you need to renew your relationship with Christ or maybe it's time to commit your life to Christ? Redial; reset your life.

8. Do you like him for what he could be instead of for who he is? Do you like to be in charge of another person? Instead you need to be interested in someone you can already look up to and respect, not someone you see potential in of what they could be IF they gave God their life. You want him to change. Only the Holy Spirit can convict and change a guy, not you. You are fired!

9. By openly defying God's Word, you have taken yourself out from underneath the umbrella of God's protection. You are not
doing God's B or C or D plan, instead of Plan A, you are not even
doing a God plan at all. As a Princess of the King, you deserve better, in fact you deserve God's best.

10. Pray some Christian men will come into his life that can witness to him. Pray that the Holy Spirit will bring conviction upon him for his need for a Savior. Not every need is your calling. If you really care about him, you will let go completely (let God work on you) and let God alone work on him.

"My son (or daughter), if sinners entice you do not consent...My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, for their feet run to evil...They ambush their own lives." Proverbs 1:10,15,18 

by Cheryl Moeller
forkeepsministries.com

Remember, marriage is for better for worse for keeps.