It's "Elf" Time Again

It's "Elf" Time Again

It's time to write your Christmas Letter. Here's my run at it...

Dear Friends (actually, you’re the only friend I have).

Last year I wrote you to tell you that my husband had received a big raise. I also told you that he was recommended by NASA for the Astronaut program by his supervisor at work. OOps! I lied.”

I also told you we remodeled our entire family room. Actually, I picked up all the toys for the first time in two years and discovered we had a different color of carpeting than what I had remembered.

Yes, and I did say that our daughter had joined a community group and been given jewelry by appreciative supervisors. Actually, she was ordered to do community service and is still wearing an ankle bracelet.

Well, I also told you I had lost over 50 pounds and was feeling terrific. The truth is I left the trunk open in our car coming home from Best Buy and our new television fell out on the express way. It weighs about 50 pounds and I feel terrific that the police aren’t pressing charges for the 21 car pile-up I started.

You may remember my telling you about our trip to California and how it gave us all stomach flutters to see wave after wave. Actually, we all had supper one night at the California Pizza Kitchen and got food poisoning and the wave after wave was actually…well you get the idea.

I may have mentioned last year that our church board finally recognized me as one of the church’s outstanding disciples. To tell the truth, actually the word they used was “church discipline” and I’m not allowed on the church property for two years.

So as you can see it’s been another memorable year. Well, the truth is I’m praying for amnesia, one more year like this and it’s all over.

Merry Christmas,

Cheryl and the whole gang (literally)