1. The live nativity in your front yard puts the Bronx city zoo out of business.
2. The herd of lighted reindeer in your yard produces a rash of polar bear sightings (and you live in Florida).
3. Your green Christmas garland is so long Tarzan unexpectedly crashes through the front window.
4. The large icicles on your Christmas tree are credited with reversing global warming.
5. Your blow-up inflatable Snowman deflects several killer asteroids back into space.
6. With the thousands of twinkling lights, E.T. dials your number trying to phone home.
7. The elves at the North Pole are jealous!
8. Rudolph’s nose is so bright your neighbors get up at 2:00 Am to leave for work.
9. Due to an abundance of bright lights several 747’s line up for final approach to your house.
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