The Top Ten Attractions to Avoid on your Family Vacation This Summer

1. Any roadside diner advertising, “Home Cooking” and “Free Oil Change.”

2. Any medieval jousting match asking for your blood type and name of next of kin.

3. Any mule trip into the Grand Canyon selling only one-way tickets.

4. Any tour of a nuclear power plant promising, “You’ll be the first on your block to glow in the dark.”

5. Any Wild West rodeo cautioning, “Patrons must not feed the bulls that charge into the bleachers.”

6. Any 3D Imax theater showing, “The Fantastic Gall Bladder.”

7. Any water amusement park promising, “Raging Rivers and E-Coli Fun for Everyone!”

8. Any helicopter ride requiring proof of a Last Will and Testament.

9. Any bungee-jump offering, “Full Money Back Guarantee If We Forget to Tie the Cord.”

10. Any `All You Can Eat’ Buffett boasting, “We Never Serve the Same Customer Twice!”