Friday, October 7, 2011

10 Ways You Know it's Going to Be a Long Labor and Delivery

10. Housekeeping brings in a Chia Pet and asks if you’ll water it daily.

9. The Midwife takes off her watch and instead hangs up a lunar calendar.

8. The RN sits down and begins reading her hard bound copy of War and Peace.

7. The OB doctor looks at his watch and decides he can get in a round of golf – in Bermuda.

6. The chaplain says he’s overjoyed he can bless the newborn just a few days before he retires – he’s only 28.

5. The phlebotomist smiles and says, “This will be fun – a Christmas baby!” and heads off to a Fourth of July parade.

4. You husband produces a dozen roses in the delivery room and says sweetly, “And you thought I would forget our tenth anniversary...” That’s when you remember you were admitted on your 8th anniversary.

3. Your little boy was studying for his weekly spelling test when you left home in labor – he now text messages you to say he’s been accepted to College.

2. The dietician thanks you that now she’ll be able to use all of her season tickets to the opera.

1. The monitor tells you your contractions are now as far apart as the summer Olympics.

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