Tuesday, February 21, 2012

If the Kids aren't Funny, then Mom Is

Manipulative, absurd, and impulsive statements.   It's hard to take mom seriously, when she makes these kinds of promises (threats)...

If you don’t finish your essay for English class…
1. I’m going to post your unfinished assignment on an expressway billboard where there’s lots of traffic.  
2.  You will be grounded for the rest of your life.
3.  You will have to deal with Dad when he gets home from work!

If you don't eat your vegetatbles...

1. The starving people in the world will be very angry at you!
2. You'll eat it for breakfast.
3. Your other food won’t dissolve in your stomach for six years.

If you don't clean your room...
1. I am going to clean it myself and then you’ll feel bad.
2. I will take the batteries out of your transistor radio.
3. I’m going to give all your stuff to someone who will appreciate it.

If you don't do your homework…
1.   You'll flunk and then you'll go through the rest of school with your next youngest sibling.
2.  I'll do the homework for you.
3.  I’m going to ask the principal to put this on your permanent record.

If you don’t play with your little sister…
1.  I’ll make sure you don’t see your friends until you are 60.
2.  Spacebook, My Face, you are off all of it.
3.  I will personally tell Santa Claus and not spare any details.

If you don't clean your plate...
1.  What will people think.
2.  They won’t name a NFL team after you.
3.   I hear the bubonic plague is making a come back.

1 comment:

Meredith said...

I am speechless, I am amazed, you are awesomely funny. Thanks for making my afternoon :)