Friday, August 31, 2012
10 Things you Don't Necessarily Want to Hear at the Hospital
all wish Dr. Williams good luck on his very first surgery."
When you wake up, a nurse looks at you through her mask, and says, "The appendectomy
went really well, Debbie Johnson (and your name is Debbie Bradley.)"
Just as you wake up from surgery, the nurse says, "Unfortunately your insurance was declined."
You hear one nurse saying to another just after you notice a huge soft spot on your side, "We are missing five sponges and a scalpel, have you seen them anywhere?"
A tech calls out to the PA, "We accidentally gave her three units of Hawaiian punch, do you think that will make a difference?"
The nurse's aid informs you "Unfortunately the doctor was unable to to finish the surgery, but he'll be able to finish two weeks from now when he gets back from Aruba."
The doctor says, "You will have to wear a hospital gown for the next three months."
A hospital janitor yells out to you, "Please don't finish the piece of meat on your tray, it was supposed to go to pathology instead."
One surgery nurse says to another nurse, " Unfortunately our heart surgeon is not available but we do have a podiatrist on call willing to help."
On the weekend the only doctor making rounds has the word veterinarian on his lab coat and he
says, "A Milk-Bone dog biscuit usually does the trick."
Posted by Cheryl Moeller: Stand up Comic for Moms, Syndicated Mom Humor Columnist, Conference Speaker, Author, Cookbook writer, and Mom of 6. Contact: firstname.lastname@example.org at 4:40 PM