As a Mom, I promise I will improve in 2009

Mom's 2009 New Year's Resolutions, Two Months Later...


January 1st: "I will learn to sleep standing up."
March 1st: "I won't fall asleep behind the wheel."

January 1st: "I will find at least one pair of matching socks."
March 1st: "Finding one pair of matching socks is statisically
identical to being hit with a meteor, while vacationing in Florida."

January 1st: "I will use only one email address."
March 1st: "I will go from eight to seven email addresses."

January 1st: "I won't send SPAM to anyone this year on my computer."
March 1st: "Why can't I send SPAM if I want to? I grew up eating the stuff."

January 1st: "I will serve only totally organic meals to my family."
March 1st: "I will limit serving fast food at our family lunch table, to just twelve meals a week."

January 1st: "I will exercise every single day in 2009, for at least one hour."
March 1st: "I'll buy a DVD of the 2008 Olympics and watch it for 30 minutes a
day."

January 1st: "I will not only wash, but also dry all our dirty dishes,
immediately after each meal."
March 1st: "I will train my cat to dry dishes, the dog already washes them."

January 1st: "I will remember my own birthday and celebrate in a special way."
March 1st: "I will somehow forget how old I am."

January 1st: "I will make a time for reading each day in 2009."
March 1st: "I will read the back of grocery store receipts to see if I have earned
enough points to get for free, the featured Teflon cookware."