Saturday, December 20, 2008
As a Mom, I promise I will improve in 2009
Mom's 2009 New Year's Resolutions, Two Months Later...
January 1st: "I will learn to sleep standing up."
March 1st: "I won't fall asleep behind the wheel."
January 1st: "I will find at least one pair of matching socks."
March 1st: "Finding one pair of matching socks is statisically
identical to being hit with a meteor, while vacationing in Florida."
January 1st: "I will use only one email address."
March 1st: "I will go from eight to seven email addresses."
January 1st: "I won't send SPAM to anyone this year on my computer."
March 1st: "Why can't I send SPAM if I want to? I grew up eating the stuff."
January 1st: "I will serve only totally organic meals to my family."
March 1st: "I will limit serving fast food at our family lunch table, to just twelve meals a week."
January 1st: "I will exercise every single day in 2009, for at least one hour."
March 1st: "I'll buy a DVD of the 2008 Olympics and watch it for 30 minutes a
January 1st: "I will not only wash, but also dry all our dirty dishes,
immediately after each meal."
March 1st: "I will train my cat to dry dishes, the dog already washes them."
January 1st: "I will remember my own birthday and celebrate in a special way."
March 1st: "I will somehow forget how old I am."
January 1st: "I will make a time for reading each day in 2009."
March 1st: "I will read the back of grocery store receipts to see if I have earned
enough points to get for free, the featured Teflon cookware."
Posted by Cheryl Moeller: Stand up Comic for Moms, Syndicated Mom Humor Columnist, Conference Speaker, Author, Cookbook writer, and Mom of 6. Contact: email@example.com at 10:46 AM
Labels: Christian comedian, Christian comedy, Clean Comedian, Funny New Year's Resolutions, mom humor, Mom's New Year's Humor, New Year's, New Year's Resolutions, New Year's Resolutions for Mom