Mom's 2012 New Year's Resolutions One Month Later

January 1st: “My children and I will learn Modern Hebrew this year.”
February 1st: “My children and I will weekly eat one dozen bagels with lox.”

January 1st: “I will get the kids the pet they’ve always wanted.”
February 1st: “I will buy a collar and a leash for my chia plant.”

January 1st: “I will make only home-made yogurt from only organic ingredients.”
February 1st: “I will allow my children only two Gogurts in their mouth at a time.”

January 1st: "I will take my children to a museum once a month."
February 1st: "I will show my kids where I ate super chili dogs in high school.”

January 1st: "I will make sure my children eat multi-grain fiber filled items at each meal."
February 1st: "I will store my bag of Krispy Kreme doughnuts next to a bottle of Metamucil.”

January 1st: "I will feature a Van Gogh each month on our coffee table."
February 1st: "I will fill up our Van at The Stop and Go.”

January 1st: "We will never eat food in the car in 2012."
February 1st: "We will quit using our gas grill in the car in 2012."

Let's be honest, not all of our New Year's Resolutions are going to stick...

January 1st: "I will learn to sleep standing up."

One Week Later: "I won't fall asleep behind the wheel."

January 1st: "I will find at least one pair of matching socks."

One Week Later: "Finding one pair of matching socks is statisically identical to being hit with a meteor, while vacationing in Florida."

January 1st: "I will use only one email address."

One Week Later: "I will go from eight to seven email addresses."

January 1st: "I will exercise every single day in 2009, for at least one hour."

One Week Later: "I'll buy a DVD of the 2008 Olympics and watch it for 30 minutes a day."

January 1st: "I will not only wash, but also dry all our dirty dishes, immediately after each meal."

One Week Latert: "I will train my cat to dry dishes, the dog already washes them."

January 1st: "I will remember my own birthday and celebrate in a special way."

One Week Later: "I will somehow forget how old I am."

January 1st: "I will make a time for reading each day in 2009."

One Week Later: "I will read the back of grocery store receipts to see if I have earned enough points to get for free, the featured Teflon cookware."

January 1st: “My children and I will learn Modern Hebrew this year.”

One Week Later: “My children and I will weekly eat one dozen bagels with lox.”

January 1st: “I will get the kids the pet they’ve always wanted.”

One Week Latert: “I will buy a collar and a leash for my chia plant.”

January 1st: “I will make only home-made yogurt from only organic ingredients.”

One Week Later: “I will allow my children only two Gogurts in their mouth at a time.”

January 1st: "I will take my children to a museum once a month."

One Week Later: "I will show my kids where I ate super chili dogs in high school.”

January 1st: "I will feature a Van Gogh each month on our coffee table."

One Week Later: "I will fill up our Van at The Stop and Go.”

January 1st: "We will never eat food in the car in 2008."

One Week Later: "We will quit using our gas grill in the car in 2008."

As a Mom, I promise I will improve in 2009

Mom's 2009 New Year's Resolutions, Two Months Later...


January 1st: "I will learn to sleep standing up."
March 1st: "I won't fall asleep behind the wheel."

January 1st: "I will find at least one pair of matching socks."
March 1st: "Finding one pair of matching socks is statisically
identical to being hit with a meteor, while vacationing in Florida."

January 1st: "I will use only one email address."
March 1st: "I will go from eight to seven email addresses."

January 1st: "I won't send SPAM to anyone this year on my computer."
March 1st: "Why can't I send SPAM if I want to? I grew up eating the stuff."

January 1st: "I will serve only totally organic meals to my family."
March 1st: "I will limit serving fast food at our family lunch table, to just twelve meals a week."

January 1st: "I will exercise every single day in 2009, for at least one hour."
March 1st: "I'll buy a DVD of the 2008 Olympics and watch it for 30 minutes a
day."

January 1st: "I will not only wash, but also dry all our dirty dishes,
immediately after each meal."
March 1st: "I will train my cat to dry dishes, the dog already washes them."

January 1st: "I will remember my own birthday and celebrate in a special way."
March 1st: "I will somehow forget how old I am."

January 1st: "I will make a time for reading each day in 2009."
March 1st: "I will read the back of grocery store receipts to see if I have earned
enough points to get for free, the featured Teflon cookware."