Saturday, November 22, 2008
ELF-SERVE not Self-serve - What Mommy is thinking about in December…
What Mommy is thinking about in December…
...while everyone is rushing through the doors chasing bargains the day after Thanksgiving, mommy is thinking about how can she recover from a broken hip in time for Christmas Eve.
...while everyone else is taking three months to find the most popular toy, mommy is still trying to remember where she hid last year’s most popular toy.
...while everyone is taking pictures at the kids' church Christmas musical, mommy hopes they don’t take one of her because she’s wearing two different colors of shoes (the dog has hidden one of each).
...while everyone else is sporting those great red Santa hats, mommy remembers wearing one last year and causing a multiple car fender bender because she was mistaken for a stoplight.
...while everyone else is using the Advent calendar to count down to Christmas, mommy is counting down to December 26 (and the full body mud spa treatment she promised herself).
...while everyone else is wearing Christmas sweaters, mommy knows that they actually make you look like a mobile Christmas bulletin board.
...while everyone is trading fruit cakes, if mommy says yes to one more Christmas party where they are yodeling Jingle Bells, she's going to become a fruitcake.
...while everyone is opening presents Christmas Eve, mommy is wondering if anyone will notice that to hide the taste, she basted the burned turkey with green jello.
...while everyone else knows Santa is real, mommy knows he isn't, but if he was, he'd be in charge of cleaning up the wrapping paper.
Have a Merry Celebration of Christ’s Birth!
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(illustrated by Susan R. Smith)
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Posted by Cheryl Moeller: Stand up Comic for Moms, Syndicated Mom Humor Columnist, Conference Speaker, Author, Cookbook writer, and Mom of 6. Contact: email@example.com at 8:22 PM
Labels: Baby Saves Christmas, Christian blog, Christian comedian, Christian comedy, Christmas humor, Christmas mommy humor, clean humor, mom comedy, mom humor