(Those long strings of diapers individually twist-wrapped in clear cellophane.) 1) Soak them in cement and use for building suspension bridges (another modern marvel).2) Dye red, white, and blue and use for outdoor bunting (keeps people off your grass during local parades).
3) Dye them yellow and black and sell them to the local police department for "Do Not Cross" tape (guaranteed no one will try crossing).
4) Weave them together and make large area rugs (keeps room traffic way down).
5) Spray gold, red, or green to use as garland on next year's "Christmas Tree" (great homeopathic cure for sinus congestion)
6) Spray them silver and tie them post to post as a chain link fence (guaranteed to turn back all unwanted intruders).
7) Hang around the neck of the large marble statute in the park to imitate a string of pearls (pigeons are history).
8) Tier around your coat like a rope belt (allows you to walk safely to your car at night).
9) Cut them into shorter pieces and wear as a necktie to a party (where you don't want to have to talk to anyone).
10) Store in your husband's brief case (guarantees him his own seat on the bus or train).
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