Gifted Children = Gifted Moms?

I believe it’s time to begin in our homes a “Gifted Moms” program. Why should “gifted children” get all the press? Hey, where do they think these gifted kids came from? E-Bay? The spring clearance rack at Marshalls? No, we gave birth to these brainy, precocious, talented children. I’m telling you right now – you show me a two year old child that can recite Shakespeare while playing the cello with Yo-Yo Ma and I’ll show you a gifted umbilical cord that leads right back to – you guessed it – us.

So how can you know for sure if you belong in the “Gifted Moms” program? Can you read and memorize a flashing caller ID number at 2:00 Am in the pitch dark while holding a colicky baby in one arm and working out on your Bowflex with the other?

Can you deliver fourteen kids in a minivan all to their right homes during a snowstorm while ordering out Chinese for supper on your cell phone without asking for an address? You must also be able to spell out Moo Goo Gai Pan and Gen eral Chao’s chicken in Mandarin if necessary. Definitely gifted.

Can you tell your husband which pile in the basement his favorite polo shirt is in while shoving de-worming pills down the throat of your Labrador retriever? Can you pull the polo shirt out of the dog’s mouth while stopping your husband from swallowing the de-worming pills because his thinks they are his high blood pressure medicine? Very gifted.

How do you know that you are a "Gifted Mom?" Well, you do your child's science fair project and get them to believe that they did it 100 percent on their own. Now that takes a talented mom to pull that off.
A Gifted Mom can actually shower, do their hair, cook, teach, clean, pay bills, launder, drive, get out lots of hugs and recycle. She does this while making/canceling appointments and shuffling pounds of paper into an organized calendar, all while maintaining a sense of humor!

So what kind of special programs should be offered for “Gifted Moms”?

How about a recital where “Gifted Moms” can recite all the artificial additives they don’t let their children eat (in alphabetical order of course)?

How about a one week special wilderness camp for Gifted Moms? Gifted Moms could plan their home school curriculum while repelling off cliffs using their old panty hose as bungee cords. Hang in there Mom!

Of course, there would be Ph.D. courses for really, really gifted Moms. We’ll call these special, over the top Moms, Dr. Moms. Dr. Moms receive this special degree if they have first:

Served the entire soccer team a full picnic meal complete with organic vegetarian hot dogs, organic macaroni and cheese, oranges, juice boxes, and apples – while the team was still on the field and the game was still in progress (and without receiving a yellow card).

11 Ways You Know it's Time for Some "Mommy Alone Time"

Mommies need a little break every once in a while.  You know it's time for a mommy break:
1. When instead of on the nail side, you use your red nail polish on the other side of your thumb.

2. When you start laughing hysterically for no reason and the result is other mommies jumping over your fence with one leap.

Very Funny!
New! Mom's Stuck On Spin Cycle Order Now!

3. When you use startusing your own hair brush not only for a microphone , but also for directing traffic.

4. When you don't even know that the shoe you can't get your foot into belongs to your three year old.

5. When you show up downtown with empty bags for the candy that will be thrown at the parade, but it's the 4th of June.

6. When you think the trending words on twitter are mommy's spelling words for the week.

7.  When you are substituting all the ingredients in a recipe, but not just one or two.

8.  When you think sharing alternate uses for a baby wipe with people you have never met at Starbucks is normal behavior.

9. When You throw a fit to prevent your toddler from throwing one.

10. When you get mxied up and think the little hands on your clock are the ones that need to be washed.

11. When you forget that draperies are for opening, not swinging on.

Ten Ways a Mom knows that Winter has Gone on Too Long

In the Midwest you are very excited when your see the first snow flurries of the season at the end of October.  You love having a white Christmas.  Then, there's a big blizzard New Year's Eve and finally you make it to MLK Day. But, what’s a Mom to do when she’s still trapped inside on Valentines' Day? Or, St. Patty's Day or Easter?????? Here are 10 sure signs our Midwest winter needs to mercifully end right now…

 
1. The clerk at Dairy Queen® asks if you’d like to order another
Blizzard®, and you immediately begin to weep and shake
uncontrollably.

2. The temperature finally reaches 34 degrees above zero, so you roll
out the backyard Slip ‘N Slide® and spend the afternoon gliding on
your stomach and honking like a Pacific seal (and your kids don’t
even get a turn).
3. You wear thermal underwear instead of nylons to formal occasions
— and so does everyone else.
4. You use the wrong end of the snow shovel to finish clearing the
driveway and still do it in less than 30 minutes.
5. You spend an hour a day reading by the 20-watt light bulb in the
freezer to combat Seasonal Affective Disorder (and don’t notice
your nose is frostbitten).
6. You demand to leave your fur-lined boots on during your pedicure
(and the pedicurist agrees it’s a good idea).
7. To save time shopping, you snowmobile through Walmart®, causing
prices to instantly roll back.
8. To lose weight, you take your goose-down coat in for liposuction
(and it works).
9. You cancel your plans to spend all day Saturday ice fishing. (You
haven’t figured out how to get the outboard motor through the hole
in the ice.)
10. You rush outside in a blizzard with a hand-held hair dryer to
prevent another “snow day.”

By Cheryl Moeller, Midwest native, who loves living in a winter wonderland.
Author of eight books, including Help! Mom's Stuck on Spin Cycle

Join us in Wheaton April 30, One Day Retreat in Chicagoland

Is the End of Marriage in Europe the Future of America?

·       

M Bob Moeller and Stephen Briggs on with Host Nancy Turner on This is the Day! Monday, March 28, 2011.

Marriage rates have been dropping in Europe at a dramatic rate.

·        In some Scandinavian countries the marriage rate is now between 20% and 30%.

·        England recently recorded their lowest marriage rates in the modern era.

·        The same pattern of declining marriage is occurring in the United States as more couples are choosing to live together rather than marry.

·        While divorce rates are dropping in Europe it is primarily due to fewer people getting married.

·        There was a time when traditional marriage was the foundational step before engaging in sexual activity, conception pregnancy, childbearing, parenthood, and raising children.

·        Now the reverse is happening in Europe and our nation following a pattern set in Europe:

a)  The large scale introduction of contraceptives (such as the pill) in the 1950’s and 1960’s disconnected the link between conception and traditional marriage.

b)  The introduction of free love in the 60’s disconnected sexual activity from traditional marriage.

c)  The introduction of abortion on demand in the 1970’s disconnected the link between pregnancy and traditional marriage.

d)  The introduction of no-fault divorce in the 1970’s and 1980’s and the resulting dramatic rise in single parent households disconnected the link between raising children and traditional marriage.

e)  The introduction of artificial reproductive technology in the 1990’s disconnected the link between child-bearing and traditional marriage.

f)  The introduction of living together and same sex partnerships in the 21^st century is working to finally disconnect sexual activity, conception, pregnancy, childbearing, parenthood and raising children from traditional marriage – a possible precursor to the final end of marriage in the U.S. as our foundational social, legal and moral institution.

·        What can Believers do to see this Trend Reversed?

           

a)  Pray for God to send a Third Great Awakening to our Land (2 Chronicles 7:14)

b)  Learn the foundational principles of marriage as taught in the Scripture which are:

            Marriage is God’s gift and foundational design for the human race (Gen. 2:20-25)

           

            Sexual activity is designed for the covenant of marriage (Exodus 20:14; Hebrews
             13:4)

            Conception is designed for the covenant of marriage (Proverb 5: 15-23; Psalm
             139: 13-16)

            Pregnancy is designed for the covenant of marriage (Gen. 4:1; Matthew 1:19-21)

            Child-bearing is designed for the covenant of marriage (Hebrews 12:8; John 8:40
             -41)

            Parenthood and raising children is designed for the covenant of marriage (Psalm
             127:3-5; Colossians 3:18-21)

            Ultimately, marriage is the image of Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33)

c)        Be willing to speak up in defense of God’s design for marriage (John 14:3)

d)        Let your marriage reflect Christ and the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33)

                                                                Bob Moeller on air

                                                                Stephen and Melissa

Cheryl's St. Patty's Day Breakfast

4 cups hashed brown potatoes, refrigerated or frozen, loose pack 1/2 cup Monterey Jack cheese, shredded 1 cup bell pepper, chopped 1/2 cup shredded Swiss cheese 1/2 cup onion, chopped and 1 cup cooked asparagus, cooked and blended 9 eggs, beaten 1 cup light cream, or half and half  (or I use skim milk) Thaw potatoes, if frozen. Then press the potatoes between paper towels to remove excess moisture. Pour 1 cup olive oil in 11" x 13" pan and push around.  Arrange potatoes evenly in the bottom. Bake uncovered in a preheated 400° F. oven for 20 minutes. Reduce oven temperature to 350° F. On top of the potatoes in the pan, layer Monterey Jack cheese, sauteed onions and peppers, and Swiss cheese. Sprinkle with fresh ground black pepper.  In small mixing bowl, combine the eggs, blended cooked asparagus, and light cream or skim milk. Pour egg mixture over potato, veggies, and cheese mixture in pan. Sprinkle heavily with Lawry's Seasoning Salt.  Bake uncovered in the 350° oven about 25 minutes, or until the center appears set. Makes 6 servings.

Ten Things Super Mom can Teach the National Football League

Many Moms look with chagrin at the all the hard-hitting physical contact and injuries that occur in the game of football and wonder, “What’s the attraction in this for men?” After all, if the NFL would only listen to Mom they would learn…

1.  To talk out their issues and problems instead of shoving, pushing, and tackling out there on the field – fighting never solves anything.

2.  To stop whispering in the huddles; it only makes the other team feel bad to know they’re being talked about.

3.  The real Super Bowl is the big white one in the bathroom.

4.  There’s no point in wearing a clean uniform if you only intend to get it dirty – furthermore it is only polite to walk, not run when you’re in a crowd. And stealing the ball from someone who is playing with it is always wrong. Why do people cheer when that happens? It only encourages bad behavior.

5.  Those men wearing black-and-white striped shirts and carrying whistles should      use their handkerchiefs instead of throwing them down on the field.  And why do they carry yellow ones?  They don't match anyone's outfit.

6.  Those men floating up there in that giant Goodyear balloon should come down right now before it pops. Besides – they are cheating-they’re trying to see the game without having to buy a ticket.  Shame on them!

7.  It is really not nice to pour a bucket of Gatorade on that poor man standing on the sideline – the clipboard he’s holding is probably the homework he's been working on the entire game.  Now it's all wet, and the teacher will make him stay after school and do it all over again.

8.  Coaches should know when they a player is given a "time out" in a game that the player should be made to sit in a corner and think about what they have done wrong.  They shouldn’t let them back on the field until they say they're sorry. A two-minute time out just isn’t enough time to teach a lesson.

9.  You don’t give the player supper if he comes in one more time with his uniform all dirty.  

10. If they would only read Gentlemen’s Quarterly that would know padded shoulders went out in the 1980’s.